遗憾

The rest of it, I only wish to express myself with melodies.
Alas not musically inclined. So are words.


你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

Lost in melody

I have a shadow in my heart.
I lost sight of its owner long ago. Probably it was never meant to be.
Memories will eventually be seal off with Time.
This is how the story always go.

A few tried to come near to me, trying to unlock my heart. They can't? I refused to?
I gave a dear a chance 4 years back and he is still the dearest I've ever met.

Few months back someone who bore strong resemblances (or was my mind trying to play tricks on me) came in my life. A brief touch but I was so affected.
I couldn't decide(and perhaps still can't) who was it that really matter?

A test of faith or a test of love?

It was not anyone's fault but if someone has to be push to jump the sea of sin, it will probably be me.

One is now a shadow that I sealed with a kiss.
One is a dear that tried so hard to bring light to my world.
One is someone that I honestly think time is the fault between us. (not that anything is happening though...)

Wo zhen de hao bu zhi suo chuo.
Any step is wrong and any step hurts.

How long can I pretend that everything is fine?

Love has it's forbidden area.
Sometimes you know it is not right but your heart is not listening.
Heart is deaf.

Was last night a real or just my fantasy?
You're always sitting there in a corner of my dreams..

Gd night.

Tutoring had sucked the soul outta me and I am beginning to lose all my patience for this job.
It started of with the intention of having something for me to do on some evenings so life perhaps get fuller. That hundred odd bucks is a bonus anyway.
This is probably the very last tutiton assignment I gonna get. It's not that I having a half hearted passion for this teaching thing but if you have a kid that still had trouble telling you what is 8+13, you probably be crying like me.
I take teaching seriously but the lack of time and the child's standard are giving me stress of not being able to achieve what was intented to.

I foresee October to be an unpleasant month. Work is and the second work too is.

Forgive me, my friends.
I probably wont be hatching outta the shell for another 30 days.

Wake me up when OCTOBER ends.

How about Monday?

Monday is one day that can never seem paint any other colour than blue. I just detest Monday, and so come Tuesday,Wednesday and Thursday.

Has been in a world outta touch from friends, I'm so sorry.
Work has hit a high mundane point and tutoring sucks the soul outta me. I knew I chose to do it so no complaints.

Actually I dunno what am I thinking also? It's like a part of me is moving on and maybe one part of me is so stuck in within. So I dont really feel like going out to meet anyone else if possible and pretend life is going on fine. Not that life isnt but it just aint that fantastic.
I guess somedays you just feel like staying in your own shell for good.

It has really been a long time since I last blogged and now I totally lost touch. Forgot how to bring emotions to words.

Give me some time...

I'm back

Wonder if you still read here.Been a really long time but I'm finally back.(for good with a new Pink VAIO that results my proverty in months to come.)
There are so many things that are lost in time since my last update but there is just one thing I would like to say right now.

Happy 50th month, Jason.
There are so many times in these 50 months that I chose to hurt you even till now. There are so many times that I wanna give up cos' I am always afraid of hurting you eventually in the end. I am so scare to do that or rather scare that I will eventually do that.

Nonetheless no enough words can express my graditude for your unconditional love towards me. I know I don't deserve that much but I don't question.

It has been a long day and Monday comes so soon. :(

Well..for those who still happened to come across here, I hope I will be back with better posts.